Setting Boundaries In Childhood: An Act Of Love

Setting boundaries in childhood is something the parents usually implement, although other adults can do it too. Boundaries fulfill the purpose of controlling children’s reactions  and provide them with frames of reference.

Saying ‘no’ is essential on many occasions and professionals recommend that you provide a brief explanation of why this is the case as well. As the years pass and children grow, these boundaries can vary in scale and proportion, as well as in the different mechanisms that define them.

From a tantrum to the ability to negotiate permission and outings, you have to rethink the setting of these boundaries over the years. What else do you need to know? We will tell you about it in detail.

Childhood boundaries are a useful tool for child development

Because I say so

Setting boundaries in childhood is critical to regulating children’s behavior. “Because I say so” is a phrase deeply rooted in parenting. However, it may not leave much room for discussion unless your repeated explanations don’t yield the expected results.

Instead, say, “Because I say so and I am your mother/father, and since I am responsible for your well-being, I do not think it appropriate to do this or that or go there.” In an article written by Josep Cornellà i Canals (Spanish/English link) he emphasizes that:

Do children learn from boundaries?

Do people learn from boundaries? And if so, who teaches them that? There is no unequivocal answer. Occasionally, the parents’ account of how their friends or other family members set boundaries, as well as a pleasant or traumatic memory of their own childhood, can serve as a guide to dos and don’ts.

Childhood boundaries as self-esteem generators

Setting boundaries, when done within a framework of love and patience, promotes self-esteem. In the same way you can say that when children have a tantrum, they are actually screaming for a limit.

The way children and the adults responsible for them handle tantrums can also become a mirror in which children manage to cope with difficulties.

Healthy and unhealthy boundaries in childhood

It is important to distinguish healthy boundaries from unhealthy ones, and then the results in raising children will be more satisfying. In this sense, we can say that some boundaries are healthy and others are not. It is clearly the healthy boundaries that can lead to satisfying results.

Conclusion

• Setting boundaries in childhood is clearly an act of love, akin to vaccinating children against disease.
• It is essential that you do not lose your temper when you have to set a limit. This is because if you do this in a state of anger, you will not have a good perspective. You can therefore set a limit less well.
• Focus on no more than two problems when it comes to setting a boundary so as not to lose effectiveness.