It’s Not That You Don’t Have Time; You’re Not Interested

Do you often cancel things by saying you don’t have time? In reality, you can always make time for the things you want to do, but people sometimes use the excuse of not having time to avoid things. The real reason is: you’re not interested.

You may be invited to dinner with friends, for example, but you are not interested in going.

If you are not interested

Maybe you are tired or there are other things you prefer to do. You might say something like:

Your friends might think this is the truth.

But if this answer becomes a regular excuse, they’ll know something’s up.

Don’t pretend you’re interested when you’re actually not interested

Pretending to be interested in something or someone and then making up an excuse not to go or do something  creates an image of yourself that doesn’t match who you are.

You want to make a good impression on other people. This is how you were raised: not saying ‘no’. You don’t want to evade something that is a high priority in the eyes of other people or the right thing to do.

However, there can be a contradiction between what you want and what society considers right. If you don’t want to spend time with your friends because you just don’t feel like it, say so.

Don’t make excuses.

If they’re real friends, they’ll understand.

The worst part about this excuse is not knowing how to get away with it. That is, you start believing this lie yourself and it becomes part of who you are.

However, this is something that takes practice, because in fact you have learned to meet the needs of others, rather than your own. That’s the lesson you’ve been taught since you were a kid.

You can say ‘no’ without feeling bad

You are not taught to say what you want. Or to make it clear what you need, or to say ‘no’ if it’s not right for you.

You’ve been taught to say “yes” to everything and to make excuses when it doesn’t match your needs. You try to pretend to be different while lying to yourself and to others.

Saying “no” can make you feel bad. In fact, not only do you reject something, but you worry about how people will react.

Don’t create an unrealistic world

This denial of what you want causes you to create an unrealistic world. First, you don’t openly admit what your needs and desires of others are. Furthermore, you start to believe that whatever you ask for, the answer will always be ‘yes’.

It causes a lot of trouble when you say ‘yes’ to someone and then back off.

Has this happened to you before?

If so, your friends will realize that once is okay and maybe twice is okay. But if it always happens, then it’s a sign of lack of interest.

This might make you feel bad, but it’s your sign that it’s time for a change.

• Being aware of this behavior will help you behave differently.
• You have no interest in anything and will not make excuses about not having the time.
• You will begin to realize what you really want and feel.

Start to be yourself

You are not interested in a social event, a person or any other scenario, you can. Then start letting you know when you want. You don’t have to make excuses anymore.

Your lack of time was a good culprit, but isn’t it about time to be honest? Remember that you may always be asking others to be honest with you, while doing the opposite yourself.

say ‘no’

Say “no” if you feel like it and refuse to do anything if you don’t feel like it. Most of all, be honest with the people who want to spend time with you so you don’t hurt them.

You’re not interested, but nobody needs to know that. And you don’t have to lie to yourself by saying you don’t have time. It is better that you start to be yourself, without fear.