Frustration For Parents When Teens Don’t Want To Talk

When children are past their childhood, a big problem arises. They become teenagers and suddenly these sweet little children don’t even want to talk to their parents anymore. Teens who don’t want to talk are really driving their parents crazy.

Suddenly, their chatty child becomes reluctant. He no longer tells his parents what is going on in his life. This is a very difficult period, and it is made even more difficult by the fact that the children are voluntarily silent.

Interestingly enough, teenagers generally just don’t want to talk to their parents or other family members. They often share their innermost thoughts and feelings with their friends. 

This gives parents the feeling that they have been cast out of their child’s circle of trust. This is undoubtedly a situation that causes a lot of quarrels and misunderstandings.

Fortunately, the phase in which teenagers do not want to talk will pass

Once we become parents, we seem to completely forget all the steps we have ever gone through ourselves. Yet you have experienced the things that your child goes through yourself.

Why didn’t you feel the need to talk about it with your parents then? Why were you more able to trust your friends? We can compile a whole list of reasons that are completely normal during this phase.

Teens know that they are not completely clear and overt, even to themselves.

Teens can completely change their thoughts and emotions overnight. Their hormones are racing through their bodies. Moreover, they themselves cannot even explain what is happening. That’s why it’s easier to talk about this with other people.

They think their parents will not understand them.

The communication problems create a wall for understanding between parents and their children. Therefore, the child prefers to keep moving forward and consciously not say anything to his parents in order to avoid conflict.

Teens trust their friends more because they spend more time with them.

They spend most of their time, between school and their part-time job, in the company of their friends. Therefore, it makes sense that they feel like their friends can understand them better than anyone else. Their friends go through exactly the same phase of life.

Do you feel understood?

Although we’ve already put our own teenage years behind us, it’s still important to constantly try to put ourselves in our children’s shoes. They are often very confused, just as we were then.

Most importantly, thankfully, it’s all fleeting. Your taciturn teen won’t stay that way forever. And before you know it, it’s an adult talking to you and trusting you again.

The frustration consumes you

Getting frustrated, arguing and yelling will do nothing but create conflict. Faced with all those overwhelming emotions, your child will only scream back louder and more aggressively.

That is why it is important that we as parents learn to keep our frustration in check. If we don’t do something about it, this frustration can consume us completely.

Even if you really want your child to talk to you again, you can’t force him to do so. As much as you want your child to regain confidence in you, you need to learn to be patient.

Patience will be one of your greatest allies in understanding this phase in your child’s life and giving it the time it needs to pass.

A lot of parents complain about the way their children behave. However, they are unable to control their children. It’s not their fault that they behave so awkwardly at this stage in their lives. This is something they simply just have to go through.

How to help yourself and your teen

To do your best with teens who won’t talk, you should also try to figure out how best to help your teen.

With this goal in mind, it is important to remember a few pieces of advice. Many of these advices are quite tricky to apply, yet they are more than necessary.

Don’t violate their personal space

Teens are very sensitive about their personal space and privacy. Even though you may have the best intentions, don’t invade this personal space.

Don’t push yourself

This never works. Keeping hammering at them until they finally start talking won’t bring anything in the end, except more silence.

Don’t confront them

The more you accuse them of not trusting you or being honest with you about what is going on in their lives, the more they will isolate themselves from you. This will only make them trust you less and trust you even less.

Try to stay calm

Of course it is sometimes very difficult, but by showing your frustration, your children will no longer be attracted to you.

Be careful about wanting to build a friendship

Because of our eagerness to get back into their circle of trust, we sometimes act as if we were their friends instead of their parents. Be careful with this. Teenagers just need someone who is strict with them.

They need someone who will set boundaries and exude authority. That way you can guide them on this difficult road.

Remember that this stage will not last their entire life. This is just one of the steps we’ve all had to overcome, willingly or unwillingly.

What is especially important is to remain patient. Nor should we cling too much to our children. Overwhelming your children, clinging to them, or wanting to keep them with you will not produce the desired effect.

Even if it now feels like a huge gap has opened up between you, one day this gap will be bridged again and your child will come back to you. And when that time comes, your child will also be more mature, more confident, and a better version of themselves.