Four Tips To Prevent Tantrums In Children
Today we are going to give you tips to prevent tantrums in children. The “terrible two” is one of the most feared ages of parents. After all, it’s the time when kids have the most tantrums!
The most common types of tantrums are yelling, crying, hitting, refusing to obey, and even resisting parental instructions. There is a lot of difficult behavior at this stage that can certainly be distressing and challenging for even the most patient of parents.
Leaving the playground, getting in or out of the bathtub, brushing their teeth, getting dressed… Just about any daily activity can trigger a tantrum in kids!
It’s easy to lose patience and react inappropriately if you don’t understand what’s going on. We would therefore like to explain to you why children have tantrums and what you can do to prevent them.
The phase when children have the most tantrums
Tantrums are a normal and healthy part of children’s growth (Spanish link) and are related to their cognitive and social development. Until now, the child plays a passive role and they just lie there.
They enable adults to meet all their needs. Moreover, they have not yet been able to see themselves as independent beings, with their own desires and interests. It all changes around the age of 18 months. This is because the child becomes self-conscious and wants to express himself and become independent.
They ‘know’ exactly what they want, but they have no control over their own lives. Moreover, they do not have the means to express themselves. Children therefore have no choice but to throw a tantrum in protest, because they are unable to satisfy their desires.
Tips to prevent tantrums in children
This stage can last until the fourth year of life, but every child is different. Their own personality and how parents deal with tantrums are decisive. Keep reading for some guidelines to avoid them (Spanish link)!
1. Avoid Potential Triggers
You may have noticed that your child is more likely to throw a tantrum if he is hungry, tired, or overstimulated. So you can take some steps to avoid tantrums related to this.
First, try to establish a schedule and routine in your child’s life and stick to it. Try not to exceed eating or sleeping times and adapt all other activities to these basic needs. Always carry a snack in your bag in case your child gets hungry.
2. Tell things in advance
It is normal for children not to want to leave an activity they enjoy when they are completely absorbed in it. You should therefore give them about five to ten minutes notice before you want to leave the park or sit down at the table.
They may still resist, but it will be easier for them to get used to the idea if you let them know ahead of time. They are perfectly capable of understanding this.
3. Be flexible
Many tantrums arise when adults try to impose their will. Remember that your child is starting to define his character and wants independence. There’s nothing wrong with giving them the freedom to decide a few things that matter to them.
In any case, give them several options from which they can choose within your limits. For example, let them decide which cup they want to drink milk from for breakfast, which show they prefer to watch, and which shirt they want to wear.
Let them know that some decisions are non-negotiable, such as wearing a seatbelt in the car or wearing clothes when going outside. Just try to be as flexible as possible.
4. Validate their emotions
Tantrums occur because children do not yet know how to adequately manage and express their feelings. For this reason, it is useful to teach them emotional intelligence.
Also acknowledge and validate your child’s emotions. Let them know that you understand how they feel and that they have a right to feel it. This way they can express their feelings and not have to express them by yelling at you.
Additional considerations about tantrums in children
The above guidelines can help prevent the onset of tantrums. However, what should you do if they already have one? First, keep your emotions in check and be especially careful with what you say.
Always remember that the child is not trying to humiliate you in public. They are simply unable to control their emotions. Choose empathy and be loving and patient, but make sure they don’t harm themselves or others with their actions.
The important thing is that they can express themselves and that you can be there for them lovingly when the drama is over. The role of parents should be to overcome the role of children having tantrums in order not to escalate the situation.
Tantrums can be a challenge
Tantrums are difficult and challenging for parents, but children also experience frustration and lack of resources to express them. The job of adults is to be loving and respectful. Being a positive example for the little ones.
Yelling or physical aggression only arouses resentment and harms the child’s emotional bond and emotional development. It won’t provide a learning experience and it certainly won’t put an end to tantrums. Practice empathy and try to treat your child the way you would like to be treated.
