Don’t Waste Time On People Who Hurt You

People and things that hurt you can change you. This removes you from your true self. A strong, courageous and free individual who deserves to be happy. So how do you stay away from people who hurt you?

Of course, we all know that it is far from easy to escape from something or someone who is causing you emotional harm.

We usually relate the word “escape” to situations where we are in physical danger – a knife or a dark, deserted alley… Your brain is wired to clearly recognize these things as threats, triggering an immediate response: fight or to flee.

Pretty much everyone can agree on one thing. What we mean here is that not all harmful things are equally easy to spot. It can be even harder to convince yourself that you need to escape these things.

Humans are social creatures who build friendships, relationships, partnerships, and other connections with people who can hurt or otherwise harm them.

What should you do in situations where what hurts you is a family member or your partner?

People who hurt you don’t deserve you

“Someone who hurts you doesn’t deserve you.” Sure, it’s really easy to pronounce these words. Deep down, in your heart and soul, you know that someone who lowers your self-esteem and disrespects you doesn’t really love you.

However, how can you force yourself to admit this? And how should you react to these kinds of people?

People who hurt others are usually only capable of caring for themselves

When we talk about people who hurt you, the first thing that probably comes to mind is physical violence.

It is indeed a sad reality that in life violence even transcends the boundaries of culture and class. However, there is another form of violence, tacit, indirect or silent violence. But this does not mean that this form of violence is less harmful.

• There are people who are simply unable to have feelings of empathy. They cannot build relationships based on mutual respect.

• People who always put their own needs before the needs of their partner in a relationship are also very destructive.
• Selfishness and not knowing how to bond with someone through understanding, trust, or respect. These are without a doubt characteristics of someone who can do a lot of damage from day to day.

Words can be harmful

Sometimes it’s not necessarily about what someone says. It’s more about how it’s said. For example, when someone talks in a contemptuous tone, raises their voice, or is sarcastic. This can all be seen as an attack on your self-esteem.

• Being roughed up or growing up in a home where communication is poor can also damage a person, undermining a child’s self-esteem and sense of security.

• The way someone behaves in a relationship can say a lot about them. His tone and the way he conveys his side of the story also says a lot.

Learn to defend yourself against the things that can injure you as well as the people who hurt you

We mentioned the real problem before. It is that people are used to only reacting when they are physically threatened. They do not respond to social and emotional dangers that threaten their self-esteem.

People who can often do more damage than anyone else are family members. It can also be other people who are close to you. For example, think of a good friend or your partner. What can you do if your father or mother has no respect for you. Or your partner, or your best friend. Or if you are emotionally manipulated?

What can you do?

• Don’t be afraid to set your boundaries. Say “no” to things you don’t like or that hurt you.
• Saying ‘no’ is not a form of selfishness at all. It’s the way you define your personality in a respectful way. It lets those around you know that you are worthy of consideration. That some things are painful.

• It is important that someone responds immediately when you have expressed your opinion. However, do you notice that nothing has changed? Does the person you said ‘no’ to behave exactly as before? Then it’s time to make a choice. Someone who hurts you on purpose doesn’t deserve you.
• Be aware that it is impossible to please everyone all the time. Trying to make everyone in your life happy all the time is an unattainable goal. This pursuit will therefore only ensure that you become unhappy yourself.
• In life it is important that you learn to prioritize. Your main priority should be yourself. If you truly love and respect yourself, you will not allow others to hurt you.

• The most important relationships you can develop in life are those in which you can be yourself.  In which there is mutual respect, affection and understanding.

Get rid of people who don’t respect you

And what about people who don’t respect you? All these people deserve from you is that you part with them. This way you can balance yourself emotionally and you learn to protect yourself.

Stay away from these types of people. Limit your contact with these people who hurt you as much as you can. Remember that setting these limits doesn’t make you a bad person at all.

You are responsible and courageous. You have the right to seek your own happiness. Just like everyone else in the world. Don’t waste your time on people who hurt you or who don’t respect your values ​​and integrity.

People who hurt you, they are not worth it.