Five Tips To Prevent Tantrums In Children

From the age of two to five, any child can have tantrums. These outbursts of anger and frustration often make parents feel guilty and start to doubt themselves. However, it is possible to prevent tantrums in children.

It would be ideal to avoid situations that trigger these outbursts. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn’t. Whatever happens, don’t despair. Keeping calm is the key.

Five tips to prevent tantrums in children

Tantrums are the result of children’s emotional development. Children begin to feel, recognize and express emotions, such as anger or frustration. Later, they will be able to control these emotions. However, when they are still young, they do not yet know how to properly control these emotions.

From the age of two, children also begin to feel autonomous. They realize that what they want doesn’t always match what their parents want. Tantrums arise precisely then because they want to impose their entirely new ‘will’ and put their parents to the test. 

You should also understand that tantrums are more common in some children than others. Every child has his own mood, which will determine how he reacts to the emotions he feels. Even siblings raised the same way can have different types of tantrums.

Here are five basic tips to avoid tantrums in children. We hope you can put them into practice before your child gets carried away by their emotions.

1. Avoid unnecessary rebellion

There are things your child ‘should do’ or ‘cannot do’. However, evaluate whether or not it is necessary for him to do “it” at a given time. Maybe you can let him be in control for a few minutes, after which he should do what you asked him to do.

For example:

• it is winter, so your child must wear a jacket.
• The child refuses.
• If you can wait a few more minutes before he has to put on his coat, why put pressure on him to put the coat on right now?

When you push them into a corner, they explode because they have no other option. Let your child ‘decid’ for a few minutes not to put on his coat. Then when he starts to get cold, you put his coat on him.

2. Anticipate frustrating situations

If you have a long day of errands and chores with your child, prepare. Bring some toys, water and snacks. A long day of boring activities can lead to a tantrum.

If they’re doing something they enjoy, like playing in the park, but it’s time to leave, tell them ahead of time that it’s almost time to leave the park. Don’t surprise them with an abrupt departure.

Sometimes we throw tantrums because we subject children to unnecessary stress, to situations they don’t understand or don’t like. Some parents only realize that they could have avoided the situation if their child is already in the middle of a tantrum.

3. Be careful with the word ‘no’ to avoid tantrums in children

Since parents use the word ‘no’ all the time, it can cause a lot of tantrums in children. The refusal of parents leads to rebellion. Judge for yourself when you can say ‘yes’. Also evaluate when instead of ‘no’ you can offer an acceptable alternative.

There are, of course, obvious situations where you have to say ‘no’ . If the child wants to plug a metal object into a socket, then ‘no’ is non-negotiable. However, not all situations are as extreme or dangerous as this one. So assess the situations in which you can give in to their requests.

4. Set clear and reasonable boundaries

Long before a tantrum sets in, you have to set the boundaries that children should respect and learn to adapt to.

Just as you can’t control everything the child does or tries because excessive control hinders their desire to experiment with their independence, neither can you raise them with too much freedom. Children need to know that there are boundaries they should not cross and that if they do, there will be consequences.

5. Take care of their physical well-being to help prevent tantrums in children

While tantrums are emotional outbursts, they can be triggered by physical ailments. For example, if it’s already time for lunch or a nap for the child, he may have a tantrum. He does not know how to control or express his physical discomfort.

This is why routines are your allies. Make sure to respect their naps, meals, snacks, and bath times. This regularity will make your child feel safe and provide the peace and satisfaction they need. This way you help prevent them from throwing tantrums for these reasons.

When a tantrum starts

Despite following all of these recommendations, a tantrum can still ensue. The first thing to do is stay calm. Getting angry will only make the situation worse.

Normally, tantrums surprise even children because of all the emotions they feel. It is therefore important that you ensure that they do not hurt themselves or others during a tantrum. Your child will need your help to calm down.

• Speak slowly and in a low voice.
• Explain what is happening to him, how you feel about it and invite him to calm down.
• Avoid giving in to what they ask. They can get the wrong message and think they can get what they want when they have a tantrum.

If you are in a public place, someone will probably give you unsolicited advice and tell you to ignore or even punish your child. However, we repeat once again that you should not pay attention to these advices.

Tantrums represent an emotional ‘flood’. So ignoring or hitting your child in the middle of a tantrum is not good at all. Doing this will only teach him to suppress his emotions, which always has dire consequences. Your child needs you to calm down, so don’t refuse to show him your love.